Dr. Smax ([info]drsmax) wrote,
@ 2004-07-07 19:17:00
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Infinite Will 5.1. UltraVoid On Line Instant Messenger
Infinite Will
Episode 5 of 5
Infinite Will Pills




5.1. UVOLIM (= UltraVoid On Line Instant Messenger)

Yog-Sothoth  (Outer God) has just phased in.

A_z_a_t_h_o_t_h (Outer God) has just phased in.

Yog-Sothoth  (Outer God): Yo, Azzy. Wassup?

A_z_a_t_h_o_t_h (Outer God):  Yo. S’up. So, you catchin’ all of this stuff about the SpaceTime continuum?

Yog-Sothoth  (Outer God): Catch it? I fucking am the SpaceTime continuum. I’m fucking identical to it.

A_z_a_t_h_o_t_h (Outer God): Sorry man. I don’t know why I’m always forgetting that. I created everything. You think I could remember a bit of it now and again.

Yog-Sothoth  (Outer God): Forget all that “Blind Idiot God” stuff. You seriously retarded. You stupid, yo.

Shudde_M’ell (Great Old One) has just phased in.

Yog-Sothoth  (Outer God): Hey! Shitty Shudde! Smelly M'ell! What up, dog?

Shudde_M’ell (Great Old One): Hey guys. Howzitgoin?

Yog-Sothoth  (Outer God): Ehh. . .

A_z_a_t_h_o_t_h (Outer God): /o!o/&&

Shudde_M’ell (Great Old One): So, Soggy Yoggy. . .You hear what's going on with the SpaceTime continuum?

Yog-Sothoth  (Outer God): Dammit. Not again. Dudes, listen: I AM THE SPACETIME CONTINUUM.

Shudde_M’ell (Great Old One): Yeah, no shit. But what I'm asking is. Argh, crap. I'm fucking being summoned again. BRB.

Shudde_M’ell (Great Old One) is away.

Shudde_M’ell (Great Old One) has just phased out.

A_z_a_t_h_o_t_h (Outer God): Dude. Poor guy. I hate when that shit happens.

Yog-Sothoth  (Outer God): Ehh.


Nyarlathotep (Outer God. previously The_Black_Man aka s4t4n) has just phased in.

Shub-Niggurath (Outer God. aka The_Black_Goat_of_the_Woods_With_a_Thousand_Young) has just phased in.

HairyLarry (Fungus from Yuggoth) has just phased in.

Steve_The_Sleeve (Shoggoth) has just phased in.

HairyLarry (Fungus from Yuggoth): Hey everybody. Hi Nyarlathotep. Hi Shub-Niggurath. How is everything going?

Steve_The_Sleeve (Shoggoth): Whoa, dudes. We've like got a party here or something.

Nyarlathotep (Outer God. previously The_Black_Man aka s4t4n): Hey.

Shub-Niggurath (Outer God. aka The_Black_Goat_of_the_Woods_With_a_Thousand_Young): Hey everybody.

Nyarlathotep (Outer God. previously The_Black_Man aka s4t4n): Did I miss anything?

A_z_a_t_h_o_t_h (Outer God): Nah. We were just bitching how much it sucks to be summoned.

Yog-Sothoth  (Outer God): Actually, we were talking about how much it sucks that the SpaceTime continuum is getting all fux0red. Those little fucking meat-monkeys and their time-travel pills are fucking my shit up.

Nyarlathotep (Outer God. previously The_Black_Man aka s4t4n): Oh yeah. Totally. Those fucking pills. And also their crappy ass MongsterZ. Fucking amateurs summoning us all of the time asking for free enemy smitings and all of our fucking porn. I fucking hate that shit.

HairyLarry (Fungus from Yuggoth): Yeah. Me too.

Steve_The_Sleeve (Shoggoth): Yeah. Who's idea were those stupid MongsterZ anyways?

Shub-Niggurath (Outer God. aka The_Black_Goat_of_the_Woods_With_a_Thousand_Young): Ha, you fucking kids don't know anything these days, do you?

A_z_a_t_h_o_t_h (Outer God): I ain't no kid and my memory's shit. Who's idea was the MongsterZ?

Nyarlathotep (Outer God. previously The_Black_Man aka s4t4n): Cthulhu.

Shub-Niggurath (Outer God. aka The_Black_Goat_of_the_Woods_With_a_Thousand_Young):  Yeah. Fucking Cthulhu.

A_z_a_t_h_o_t_h (Outer God): Oh yeah. I remember now. MongsterZ were supposed to allow us to mount an invasion, not surrender us into fucking interdimensional indentured servitude. Fucking Cthulhu

Cthulhu (Great Old One) has just phased in.

Cthulhu (Great Old One): HEY EVERYBODY!

Cthulhu (Great Old One): YO!

Cthulhu (Great Old One): WHASSUP?

Shub-Niggurath (Outer God. aka The_Black_Goat_of_the_Woods_With_a_Thousand_Young): Ahh, crap. ;}]

Shub-Niggurath (Outer God. aka The_Black_Goat_of_the_Woods_With_a_Thousand_Young): I'm outta here.

HairyLarry (Fungus from Yuggoth): Mmm, yeah. Me too.

Shub-Niggurath (Outer God. aka The_Black_Goat_of_the_Woods_With_a_Thousand_Young) has just phased out.

HairyLarry (Fungus from Yuggoth) has just phased out.

Steve_The_Sleeve (Shoggoth): Oh, crap. I'm being summoned. Gotta go.

Steve_The_Sleeve (Shoggoth) has just phased out.

Cthulhu (Great Old One): HEY. WHAT THE FUCK? WHERE'S EVERYBODY GOING?

Yog-Sothoth  (Outer God): Ahh, Cthulhu. Your vast intellect can surely piece together the obvious, or can it not?

Cthulhu (Great Old One): NO OF COURSE NOT. . .BUZWHADT!?

JebusInDaHouse (Great Old One) has just phased in.

JebusInDaHouse (Great Old One): Hey everybody.

Yog-Sothoth  (Outer God): Yo, Jebus. Wassup?

A_z_a_t_h_o_t_h (Outer God):  Jebus Jebus Jebus. Yo. S’up.

Nyarlathotep (Outer God. previously The_Black_Man aka s4t4n): Oh, hey guys. Summoned. Later.

Nyarlathotep (Outer God. previously The_Black_Man aka s4t4n) has just phased out.

Cthulhu (Great Old One): HI JEBUS!

JebusInDaHouse (Great Old One): Sooooo. What are you all talking about?

Cthulhu (Great Old One): YEAH. GOOD QUESTION.

JebusInDaHouse (Great Old One): Wait. I bet I can guess. Mmmmm, is it something about human time travel?

Yog-Sothoth  (Outer God): Once again, Jebus has nailed it.

A_z_a_t_h_o_t_h (Outer God): Booooo!  ~!1}|{1!~

JebusInDaHouse (Great Old One): Ouch. Nice one.

nYoGtHa (Great Old One. previously  The_Thing_that_Should_Not_Be) has just phased in.

Yog-Sothoth  (Outer God): And don't even get me started on the Smax factor.

A_z_a_t_h_o_t_h (Outer God): Damn. Yeah. The Smax factor.

nYoGtHa (Great Old One. previously  The_Thing_that_Should_Not_Be): I see we are once again on the Smax factor.

JebusInDaHouse (Great Old One): That Smax factory is serious business.

JebusInDaHouse (Great Old One): woops. factor.

A_z_a_t_h_o_t_h (Outer God): Haha. Spelling errors. Human or something?

JebusInDaHouse (Great Old One): Whatever dude.

Cthulhu (Great Old One) has changed names to The_Eel_Rancher.

The_Eel_Rancher (Great Old One. previously Cthulhu.): WHAT'S THE SMAX FACTOR?

Yog-Sothoth  (Outer God): Shut up, Cthulhu.

The_Eel_Rancher (Great Old One. previously Cthulhu.): I'M THE EEL RANCHER NOW.

The_Eel_Rancher (Great Old One. previously Cthulhu.) is away.

Yog-Sothoth  (Outer God): Shut up, The Eel Rancher.

Auto-response from The_Eel_Rancher (Great Old One. previously Cthulhu.): I cannot respond to your query at this moment because GO FUCK YOURSELF.

The_Solipsist (Outer God) has just phased in.

nYoGtHa (Great Old One. previously  The_Thing_that_Should_Not_Be): Ahh, behold. The solution to the Smax factor.

A_z_a_t_h_o_t_h (Outer God): Heyyyyy. The Solipsist. Whassup?

Yog-Sothoth  (Outer God): Yo. 'psist. S'up?

JebusInDaHouse (Great Old One): Greetings, The Solipsist.

The_Solipsist (Outer God): Yo.





---
Next: Desire Magnitudes

(Post a new comment)

Yo, 'psist!
[info]raygunn
2004-07-07 04:55 pm UTC (link)
Well nail me to a tree and call me Jebus...by tentacles I think he's got it!

(See, tentacles are chewy, like gum...oh, STFU! It's funny.)

Now that I can breathe once again and am relatively certain I will not expire due to a hilarity attack, it is time to say: Awesome, babe.

(Reply to this) (Thread)
p.s. to Re: Yo, 'psist!
[info]raygunn
2004-07-07 05:08 pm UTC (link)
Also, I'm proud to say that I am a happy employee of the Smax Factory. Smax Continuumwide is a wonderful outfit. As you can plainly see, Smax manufactures the greatest ideas EVER.
And bugger off in advance to anyone who wants to try to steal the Smax Secret. Even I don't know what it is. And I'm, like, VP.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
PS (=President Smax) and VP (=Victory of Porn)
[info]drsmax
2004-07-07 05:21 pm UTC (link)
Funny thing is, I often think you are the Smax Secret. It's like, you're fucking identical to it.

<3 & ~w~ (= Love and Tentacles),

Pete

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: PS (= President Smax) and VP (= Victory of Porn)
[info]raygunn
2004-07-07 05:40 pm UTC (link)
Even though I have this Smax Factor smeared all over my face, you can still see me smiling, right? Good.

://,://

Love,
Rachelle

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: PS (= President Smax) and VP (= Victory of Porn)
[info]drsmax
2004-07-08 03:11 am UTC (link)
Since what's smeared all over your face is glowing green, I'd see you smiling even in an otherwise darkened room. But mostly I'd just be staring at your tits.

o!o, o!o, o!o,. . .(27) o!o.

(Reply to this) (Parent)
I laughed so hard I 'psist myself.
[info]drsmax
2004-07-07 05:15 pm UTC (link)
Thanks, SweetStuff.

Feel free to chew on my tentacles but be sure to employ the appropriate sound effect (to wit, "MwarmMwarmMwarmMwarm"). Be sure, as well, that you lose hit-points if you blow bubbles.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]meifumado
2004-07-07 05:54 pm UTC (link)
I think I've played some online games with Cthulu.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]drsmax
2004-07-07 06:04 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, Cthulhu's a total fucking bitch who camps the best spawn points with his railgun and whines about ping when he can't hit you while you're rocket-jumping.

On the other hand, however, when not totally submerged in water his otherworldly dreams leak out from his tentacled cererbrum and into the lesser minds of men, driving them to rend their very souls in twain as they try to organize the telepathic data-dump into a coherent necromantic ritual-cycle.

(Reply to this) (Parent)
Connection reset by Lovecraft
[info]snizzpod
2004-07-07 10:09 pm UTC (link)
Auto-response from The_Eel_Rancher (Great Old One. previously Cthulhu.): I cannot respond to your query at this moment because GO FUCK YOURSELF.

*snortle* I laugh!


(Reply to this) (Thread)
Re: Connection reset by Lovecraft
[info]drsmax
2004-07-08 02:59 am UTC (link)
You may not have received the 800 simultaneous telepathic orgasms I sent you but I'm glad to see that my telepathic command to *snortle* worked perfectly. Now brace yourself for the other 799.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

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